Happy Fucking New Year!
 
What a fucking disaster of a decade! ( no nit-picking about whether 2010 or 2009 is the end of the decade, it's not relevant to the topic ) We've had terrorism and hurricanes, and tsunamis and wars and pandemics and global economic meltdowns... On the other hand we elected a black man as president and discovered smart phones and finally noticed global warming. So it wasn't ALL bad. Just mostly awful.

One thing has become obvious, we need a category system for disasters. We have these for sub-sets of the whole disaster genre: there are hurricane categories and tornado classes and earthquake scales and hot pepper units... We need the same kind of thing for disasters. Yes, of course I'd like to propose the following, thanks for asking!

DISASTER CLASSIFICATIONS:

  1. Category 1 (Red) - These are the disasters that are our fault. You can call it "an act of God" if you want but that's just an excuse. These disasters are of our own doing and no one else is to blame. Examples would be: war, genocide, terrorism, economic implosions, global warming, global pandemics, oil leaks, nuclear power plants, Asian carp, pirates, etc. You may notice that this is the largest category, covering most of the largest disasters.

  2. Category 2 (Yellow) - This next class includes disasters that could be avoided, but we're too lazy or stupid to get out of the way. The coast of California is a good example of a pre-Category 2 Disaster just biding it's time. There seems little doubt that "the big one" is due, and at any moment, but we do nothing but make excuses. When it does hit we'll continue to make excuses and call it "an act of God", even though we've received repeated warnings. When I mention this to people they look at me like I'm insane to suggest we vacate the state of California, but when the big one hits they'll be the first to say somebody should have done something and heads will roll. It's a gamble, we're all betting that it won't happen in our lifetime or our term in office or while we're still in the insurance business. Other examples: New Orleans, Florida, flood plains, tornado alley, houses built along cliffs, nuclear weapons, rain forest abuse, plastics, insecticides, antibiotics, fertilizers...

  3. Catgeory 3 (Blue) - I like to call this the "Hey what's that thing up in the sk" Category. These are all the real disasters. We're pure victims and should not be expected to avoid or evade them. These are not our fault, directly or indirectly. We're the proverbial bug-hitting-the-windshield. The list includes: asteroids, and um.....I thought I had another one the other day...um....Invasion by aliens! No that one's not real...um....

The problem with this system is it's always Red. And it's always Yellow too. And if it's ever Blue we won't even get a chance to finish our sentences. But it was fun to write about in a time of almost daily calamity.

One thing's for damn sure, we live in interesting times.....

 

Happy Fucking New Year!

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Back in the day: 2008 2009